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Blog, forgive, FORGIVENESS, Loving again, moving on -

To Forgive But Never to Forget And to Love Again

I am a firm believer of the spirit of forgiving and remembering – forgiving who has hurt me and remembering what has caused me pain. To be able to forgive truly is to go through the process of moving on and getting over what is done and what can never be taken back. Moving on is not about forgetting and burying all the pain but learning and getting wiser through it to avoid the same pavement that once caused me suffering and tears. If we truly want to forgive those who hurt us, why can’t the memory linger with us? When we love too much we tend to give too much. Only then when we experience heartbreak do we become conscious that we have lost ourselves in the act of loving someone unreserved. I don’t want to forget just to forgive because the bittersweet memories molded me into what I am today. To immerse yourself in love is also exposing yourself to pain. I want to keep the memory of hurt and countless nights of tears so as to be reminded of how much I once loved and have been loved. I always want to remember what has once kept me at the epitome of my happiness and sadness. I want to forgive not with a forgetful heart but with a heart that has been hurt but has learned to accept the pain of yesterday. If we forget and forget the mistakes of the past, never will we learn. The past will drown us into an abyss of pain we keep on inflicting on ourselves. When we learn to forgive, remember and accept yesterday’s pain only then will we be able to love again. To love again is another chance on happiness; it may be starting anew with the same person who has hurt you in the past or a new person you’re willing to risk another heartbreak for. Either way, none of these relationships would work if we keep on forgetting where it all went wrong before, we feel the same pain and we find ourselves trapped in an equally painful cycle. If we keep all these mistakes, if we don’t let them get buried elsewhere, is when we get to feel better, stronger and wiser for the next path we choose to journey on. I want to remember all these to create something better with the same person who has hurt me in the past. I want to correct all the mistakes we have both done not because I want to save what we had but to take our chances on loving again and starting anew from a very different level. I want to remember because I want this to last. I don’t want to lose her for the second time. Forgiving, remembering and accepting the past have allowed me to trust her again. Even though what we have now doesn’t have the certainty of a lifetime, at least I can say that I have become wiser, I have loved and learned from a higher and more mature perspective.

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Blog, LIFE, Overcome, Problems, Trials -

8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles. Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you do with what you have left.

Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most: 

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Blog, LIFE, love, RELATIONSHIP -

HOW TO BACKUP AND RESTORE YOUR LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Today I delete my two posts because I thought they were not important, but in the evening I change my mind and decide to restore them back. That was easy for me because I regularly back up my SQL database and for safety keep it on three different locations. So I just copy my old posts from my previous backup and published them again. Data is valuable, so we keep a backup but what about our relationships? Fortunately you don’t need to take backup of our relationships, they are automatically stored in our brain. There you will find your good and bad memories with your friends. Conflict is natural process in any relationship  but it is wrong to break up over small and pity things. It is a big mistake to take decisions from negative frame of mind when something goes wrong. Sometimes negative influences around us affect our own intimate relationships. For example if a divorce happen in a friend circle then it creates a chain reaction and other people also start seeing their partner through this new perspective which is a negative frame and obviously there is conflict. This is a mechanical process. If you are not alert then you become a victim. It works just like a virus. If this kind of thing happens and you find yourself in negative state of mind then simply access your good memories with your partner or friend. Go back to the past, find a moment when both of you were happy together and look at things from THAT reference, your last moments which were working well. It is easy because your brain is automatically recording each moment. Perhaps you have spend hundreds of happy moments together, go back to those memories and live them again in your imagination. And look at the present from that perspective. Never take any decision from negative memory even if it is a fact. Whenever you are in conflict with your friend or beloved then don’t act from negative mindset. Remember all those moment when you were in HARMONY and there was TRUST. Make a commitment with your friends to ‘access good memories’ and ‘act from that point of reference’ if anything goes wrong in the future. Mistakes happens. Hundreds of time you will make mistakes, so there is no point in totally break up the relations. It’s my advice that  you should never break up any relationship which is working since more than three years. When someone makes a mistake, remember that he is a human being just like you. You can make millions of mistakes  but if you know ‘how to come back to good memories and start again from that point’ then there is no problem. Many of you may know how to restore your backups, Windows Operating System also have a restore point. If something goes wrong you can just go back to your last setting which worked well. In the same way you must know how to restore your relationships to the ‘best past moment which was working well for both of you’. Whenever things go wrong, learn to remember your happy moments, access that memory. Make this commitment with yourself and your friends, today. Always remember to make a restore point when things are going well. Suppose you are enjoying a good party with your friends then make a commitment to yourself to come back to this moment if something wrong in the future. Make this a rule to regularly make a restore point so that you can always access the latest joyful and happy memory. Love is coding, you need to debug and backup like a good programmer – MG

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7 Reasons To Stop Proving Yourself To Everyone Else

Sometimes we try to show the world we are flawless in hopes that we will be liked and accepted by everyone, but we can’t please everyone and we shouldn’t try. The beauty of us lies in our vulnerability, our complex emotions, and our authentic imperfections. When we embrace who we are and decide to be authentic, instead of who we think others want us to be, we open ourselves up to real relationships, real happiness, and real success.

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WHAT IF PEOPLE IGNORE YOU?

People ignore you that does not mean that you are stupid. Perhaps they are more stupid than you. If someone ignore you then your first reaction is that you get confused and start looking if you have made any mistake. If you stop gossiping then people who love gossip will avoid you and you will lose some friends. If you quit smoking then smokers will quit you. If you stop drinking alcohol then drinkers will avoid you. If you get rich then poor will ignore you. Bird of the same feather flock together. He is ignoring you means either you are not matching with his mindset or he is trying to get your attention. Sometimes a person can ignore you because he is unable to dominate or manipulate you. Sometimes he ignore you because he feel inferior in your presence. He want to escape from the reality. There may be hundred reasons when someone ignore you. The question is ‘how to deal’ with this kind of situation. Always remember that the person who ignore you will never give any clarification for his strange behavior. So never ask him whyhe is avoiding you or why he is ignoring you. If you ask him why he is behaving like this then he may reply that he is not ignoring you, he is just busy. He will never tell the true reason. It is not what happens to you but how you perceive that situation and give that situation a meaning which serves you that matters. Next time if someone ignore you or avoid you then don’t feel sad. Change your belief (meaning) about that situation. Try following tips to change your belief: Ignore the person who ignore you. When a person ignore you he is creating an empty space in your life. Use that space wisely to create something meaningful and productive. Perhaps he is not ignoring you, he is simply going through a phase. Realize that there will be always some people who ‘like’ you and there will be always some people who ‘dislike’ you. A person who ‘like’ you today may ‘dislike’ you tomorrow. Never seek approval from others. If someone is ignoring you then it is his/her problem because he is slave of his own limiting belief about you. Some people feel jealous of your success, happiness or positive attitude. Some people are attention seeker drama queens. Pay attention to me or I will ignore you! Some people want more respect, if you don’t give them respect then they will ignore you. People have an agenda, if you don’t fit into their agenda then they will ignore you. Some people has a policy of use and throw. Some people are really busy and they don’t have time for you. Some people have many problems and unsolved issues in their personal life. Some people believe that you are stupid. Their belief is not your reality. Perhaps they are trying to escape from the reality. Perhaps your role in their life is finished. Perhaps they feel inferiority complex in your presence. Perhaps they believe that now you are useless for them. You can’t control others but you can control your own emotions. Redirect your attention on something which makes you feel happy. Never get attached to people and their silly opinions about you. Love and hate are two faces of the same coin. There is no need to prove yourself. When someone ignore you, you believe that, ‘he is ignoring me – I have made some serious mistake. Change this belief to ‘he is ignoring me – it is his mistake’ or ‘he is ignoring me – he is attention seeker’. Take it easy and move on. There are millions of people around you. You can always make new friends and there will be always someone who truly appreciate you. Stay busy and focus on your goals. Don’t waste your valuable time in worrying about public opinion. There are so many important things in life then paying attention to sick behavior of a person and trying to figure out why he is behaving this way ? Nothing is permanent. Humans are unpredictable. Kids will cry when they need your attention and adults will ignore you when they seek your attention.

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