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If someone you love is having a tough time right now, there are some things that you can remind them of which will help them trough their difficulties. Whatever you say to someone who is struggling, the most important thing is to ensure your tone of voice and demeanor is appropriate. Remind your loved one of the following things in a warm, encouraging way, and not in a “pull your socks up” way. Your approach will make all the difference to the response you get. 1. It’s OK Not to Be OK When people are struggling, they often make themselves feel worse by placing unrealistic expectations on themselves. They beat themselves up for having a problem and feeling unable to cope with it. Remind your loved one that they are no less of a person just because they are facing something challenging right now. You love them and will support them in good times and bad. 2. You’re Not Alone Identifying with the person who is struggling can help them feel better. They realize, then, that they are not bearing the weight of the world alone. Remind them that others have had this problem, and that they already have found a way through it. Just knowing that they are not alone can help them feel less lonely and more hopeful. Encourage your loved one to join a support group or forum if appropriate. 3. Let Go of Blame Sometimes when people are struggling, they either want to blame themselves or other people for their circumstances. It’s OK to initially express anger and frustration, but wallowing in feelings of unfairness or blame will make them feel worse and wastes their energy. Help your loved one to see that the way out their difficulties is in looking for solutions and not in assigning blame or hanging onto angry feelings. 4. Struggles Make You Stronger Wisdom, strength and resilience can all be built from the foundations of tough times. Help your loved one to see how they’re growing as a person, even if they feel like they’re going through hell. It’s so important not to be glib  or patronizing when you’re saying this ‒ actually tell your loved one the new strengths you see in them. 5. Take a Step Back People going through tough times often lose perspective, because they feel so mired in the problem itself. Reminding someone to step back from the situation can help them to see things in a fresh light, and will help them find new solutions. 6. Nothing Lasts Forever The terrible thing about really tough times is that they feel like they will go on forever. But, in reality, nothing lasts forever ‒ not even the most horrible emotions or the direst circumstances. Reminding your loved one of this can help them gain perspective and feel comforted at the same time. 7. Take Things Step By Step Tough times can often bring complex and confusing feelings, and those who are struggling may feel paralyzed and unable to make decisions. Remind them that they don’t have to solve the whole problem at once. If they just do the next right thing, they will start to make progress. 8. Look For The Open Door When life shuts one door, another one will always open. Losing something will always lead to new opportunities, but only if you are open to them. Remind your loved one to stay alert to fresh opportunities and solutions. 9. Just Do Your Best People who are struggling can put so much pressure on themselves to get things right that they feel even more upset when they don’t meet their own unrealistic expectations. Remind them that as long as they just do their best, that’s all that matters. They are human, after all. Their best is good enough. 10. You’ve Come Through Tough Times Before If someone you love is having a hard time, it may be difficult for them to see their strengths. Reminding them that they have already survived tough times before can show them that there is an end in sight, and that they have the strength to reach it. 11. You’re Brave Most people who are struggling refuse to acknowledge how strong and brave they actually are. They may see themselves as weak and scared. Remind them that courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to go on even when you’re afraid. 12. There Is Something Good in Each Day Going through difficulties can lead to a negative mindset. If someone is really going through a desperately hard time, and dealing with something like depression, being all happy-clappy with them won’t work. But do ask them about the good things in their life, what has gone well, and what they have achieved. It will help them to see a glimmer of hope, even in the darkness. 13. Look at What You’re Gaining Even when someone has a difficult problem, there will always be an upside to it. Whether it’s finding out who their true friends are when they’re struggling, or having the opportunity to develop patience, strength and problem-solving abilities, there will always be a silver lining. Help your loved one to find it. 14. It’s Not Your Fault Sometimes when people are struggling, they take their problems very personally, almost believing that their difficulties are sent in some way to punish them. If your loved one is doing this, reminding them that it’s not their fault can help them feel relieved. 15. Well Done Validating someone for their efforts when they’re having a miserable time can make a big difference in their day. If someone is struggling, they may not acknowledge their own hard work. Giving them praise can help them feel rewarded and appreciated.. 16. Focus on Now Often people make their tough times even tougher by worrying about the future or fretting about the past. They may add to their misery by letting themselves think back to all the times life has treated them badly or that they’ve failed before; or they may fear that their current difficulty will lead to yet more problems. Remind them to focus on now, because that’s the only part of the story they can change at the moment. 17. Nothing Is Ever the End of the World Very few problems, however big or small, can actually stop you from breathing. You can encourage your loved one by reminding them that everything is survivable and beatable. They will find a way of dealing with this issue, however tough, if only they keep trying. 18. Be Kind To Yourself When someone is going through a hard time, they may feel so frustrated by their problems that they resort to beating themselves up or not allowing themselves a minute of reprieve from the issue. Remind your loved one that tough times are easier when we’re kind to ourselves. They are allowed “time off” from their problem to have a laugh, treat themselves, and be around good people. Relieving stress can actually help them to come back to the problem refreshed and recharged. 19. People Want to Help If your loved one is suffering, they may believe that they have to go through it all by themselves. They may not want to burden others with their problems, and won’t want to ask for help. Remind them that most people are amenable to helping; in fact, helping feels good. The reason people have different strengths is precisely so that they can help each other. Encourage your loved one to seek extra help should they need it. 20. I’m There For You The strength of these words can not be underestimated. Letting your loved one know that you’re there for them, and that you will listen to their feelings, dry their tears, or even just be around, can mean everything to someone going through hell. Just being a non-judgmental, caring presence in your loved one’s life can make a massive difference in how they feel and how they cope. Like this article ? Share it with your friends. 

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. I once read a book on forgiveness which shared this powerful idea. It said that whenever we refuse to forgive someone, the person we are not forgiving is really ourselves. It makes sense doesn’t it? When you feel angry/bitter toward someone, it’s not the other person who is carrying the anger and bitterness. It’s you. For what it’s worth, the other person is probably not aware of how you are feeling toward him/her. You are the only person carrying the baggage around. On a deeper level, I believe you are angry/bitter at yourself for allowing yourself to be hurt by this person. This was what happened to me. Carrying all these heavyweight emotions can be very tiring. It’s like while dragging a whole pile of carcasses wherever you go. I’m sure you feel tired emotionally and mentally from the episode. You can’t get anywhere far if you keep dragging them along. To forgive him/her, first forgive yourself. Think about how you are denying yourself of so much happiness by holding on to your grievances. Think about how you are preventing yourself from experiencing your real love because you are still hanging on to these baggage. Whenever you hold on to something, you prevent yourself from receiving new things in life. Forgive yourself for putting yourself through this trauma. Forgive yourself for everything that has happened. As you forgive yourself, forgiveness of the other person will occur naturally.

After breaking up with someone you loved, even if you were the one who decided to end it and don’t feel rejected, you still feel a sense of loss, and you ache for the love you were getting that’s now gone.

Today I delete my two posts because I thought they were not important, but in the evening I change my mind and decide to restore them back. That was easy for me because I regularly back up my SQL database and for safety keep it on three different locations. So I just copy my old posts from my previous backup and published them again. Data is valuable, so we keep a backup but what about our relationships? Fortunately you don’t need to take backup of our relationships, they are automatically stored in our brain. There you will find your good and bad memories with your friends. Conflict is natural process in any relationship  but it is wrong to break up over small and pity things. It is a big mistake to take decisions from negative frame of mind when something goes wrong. Sometimes negative influences around us affect our own intimate relationships. For example if a divorce happen in a friend circle then it creates a chain reaction and other people also start seeing their partner through this new perspective which is a negative frame and obviously there is conflict. This is a mechanical process. If you are not alert then you become a victim. It works just like a virus. If this kind of thing happens and you find yourself in negative state of mind then simply access your good memories with your partner or friend. Go back to the past, find a moment when both of you were happy together and look at things from THAT reference, your last moments which were working well. It is easy because your brain is automatically recording each moment. Perhaps you have spend hundreds of happy moments together, go back to those memories and live them again in your imagination. And look at the present from that perspective. Never take any decision from negative memory even if it is a fact. Whenever you are in conflict with your friend or beloved then don’t act from negative mindset. Remember all those moment when you were in HARMONY and there was TRUST. Make a commitment with your friends to ‘access good memories’ and ‘act from that point of reference’ if anything goes wrong in the future. Mistakes happens. Hundreds of time you will make mistakes, so there is no point in totally break up the relations. It’s my advice that  you should never break up any relationship which is working since more than three years. When someone makes a mistake, remember that he is a human being just like you. You can make millions of mistakes  but if you know ‘how to come back to good memories and start again from that point’ then there is no problem. Many of you may know how to restore your backups, Windows Operating System also have a restore point. If something goes wrong you can just go back to your last setting which worked well. In the same way you must know how to restore your relationships to the ‘best past moment which was working well for both of you’. Whenever things go wrong, learn to remember your happy moments, access that memory. Make this commitment with yourself and your friends, today. Always remember to make a restore point when things are going well. Suppose you are enjoying a good party with your friends then make a commitment to yourself to come back to this moment if something wrong in the future. Make this a rule to regularly make a restore point so that you can always access the latest joyful and happy memory. Love is coding, you need to debug and backup like a good programmer – MG

The road of life is rarely smooth. It’s easy to stumble and fall and hurt yourself. But these bumps and bruises are a necessary part of your growth – you fall down, you learn something, and then you brush yourself off and move forward.