Blog RSS

This article will explain different ways to be proud of who you are no matter how different you are from others and no matter how others will judge you.  Be yourself. If you’re not you, how can you be proud of yourself? Also, do not be what other people want you to be and do not let peer pressure get to you. Base your confidence on real achievements and strengths. Give yourself an honest self-assessment, good and bad. Look at everything that’s true of you in its best light and its worst privately. If both your fans and your detractors agree on something about you, it’s probably true. It may help to be aware of its negative context and try to tone it down when it’s inappropriate – and really indulge when it’s the right thing to do. Measure this against your own understanding of right and wrong, if you try to be a weather vane on that issue you’ll have trouble getting out of bed in the morning without offending someone. Be confident. Pay attention to your strengths, your accomplishments and your triumphs. Make sure you actually are proud of yourself and that you’re happy about being yourself. If you aren’t, it’s important to understand why. Are you being realistic about who you are and what you can do? Did you listen to people who cut you down and believe inaccurate criticism? Have you been insulted for something that’s a strong point just by how it was slanted and become embarrassed about it because of that? Try to describe yourself accurately using only positive terms. Be proud of yourself. Don’t be too proud though, it can easily be confused with arrogance if you show too much pride towards yourself. The big difference between honest pride and arrogance is in how you treat others and their accomplishments. Accept compliments with a gracious “Thank you” whether it’s over something you did or just whether they like the hair you were born with. Compliment others with equal honesty for anything you think is cool about them and anything they’re proud of. When someone you know says “I scored 832 on the trivia contest for (something you don’t even recognize that was on TV)” and they’re excited, grin and say “That’s fantastic! You’ve got a heck of a memory to pull that off.” Don’t worry about not knowing the scoring system or the context. If they’re proud, they worked hard at it and achieved something, be happy for them. Do this all the time and encourage people, then when you say “I finally finished my ten year hobby project!” and feel that thrilled about it, you’ve set the tone and they’ll congratulate you honestly without feeling like they got put down for not being dedicated enough (or lazy enough) to take ten years on a hobby project. Get friends who love and respect you for who you are. If they’re really your friends, they’ll be there for you no matter how different you are from them, right? The best way to do this is to accept them for who they are no matter how different they are from you. If you’re a cat lover, understand and accept that your dog-loving friend is just as thrilled at seeing any dog of his dog’s breed, loves his dog the way you love your cat and has a good relationship with the animal. The more diverse your friends are, the richer your life will be and the easier it is to relax and just be yourself in all your individual quirks. If you don’t fit your ethnic stereotype, a diverse group can be much easier socially.   Ignore hateful or mean comments from others if it’s about how you are. No one has the right to change who you are. Only you have that choice. When people make rude comments about you, tell them you don’t care and tell them you don’t take negative feedback. You can also say, “I don’t care,you seem like you need a hug.” Kill them with kindness, and they will be annoyed and won’t bother messing with you. A good way to deal with insults is to turn it inside out and ask if it would be a compliment if it was expressed in more positive terms. “You’re so stuck up” could mean “You’re choosy about who you spend your time and attention on.” If that’s about not hanging out with people who constantly criticize others, then you’ve got a right to that choice and the lowered stress it brings. “Too stubborn” can mean “Dedicated and not easily pushed around.” Most insults have a positive quality depending on how you look at it.   When something’s true about you, both your friends and enemies will be aware of it. If you want to tone it down or develop opposite qualities, that takes work and introspection but you have to want that yourself – don’t do it just because others picked on you. Understand and accept that sometimes criticism is completely untrue. People get conditioned to Accept Criticism, you’re a wimp if you don’t. But very often people criticize to manipulate others or believe stereotypes that have nothing to do with who you really are. “You’re so lazy” hurts people most if they’re driven and don’t know how to relax. A genuinely lazy person who’s decided they’re okay with that will grin and say “Yep. You should try it sometime. Smell the roses.” It also usually means “because you won’t stop everything else you’re doing to do what I want you to.” Someone who calls you stupid but always calls people of your race, gender, religion, social class, income level stupid will not be capable of seeing that you’re intelligent and spend a lot of your time in intellectual pursuits – truth that contradicts that belief will confuse and shock them. Often it gets twisted into something else. Don’t ever believe what people who are prejudiced against you categorically say about you. They have an agenda and a large part of it is based on preserving their view of the world, simplifying it. Anything real about you will be rewritten to fit the bigot’s ideas of what people like you are really like. This happens to everyone. No matter who you are, some people hate and fear you so much they can’t look at you as who you are, an individual. The best thing to do is avoid them, don’t believe them and don’t let them stop you in life. Don’t fear and reject everyone that looks like those bigots either – you’ll get along fine in any diverse group that thinks bigotry is wrong and takes people as individuals. Another reason for completely untrue criticism is projection. People with mental illness, alcoholism and some other problems in life are very likely to project their own worst qualities on others. If they’re jealous of your success they may assume you cheated and stole to get it because that’s what they would do. That doesn’t make you a cheat and shouldn’t send you into a quandary worrying about every minute decision you made on your path to success once you’ve gotten a sound realistic view of your life measured against your own ethics. Something like the “lazy” insult can come from this source too – if the person who said it is an alcoholic who hasn’t cleaned up, paid rent or looked for work in months while you’re still paying and doing part of his share, Projection is at work.

Lahat tayo, nakakakilala ng iba’t ibang klaseng tao kada araw, oras o maging minuto pa. ang iba hanggang isang beses lang nating nakikilala dahil minsan ayaw nila sa atin or kung para naman sa mga sosyal eh hindi tayo “belong sa sirkulo nila” kumbaga para sa kanila eh we don’t have what it takes to be in their group pero okay lang yun mahirap kasing mag-pretend ka para lang mapasok ka sa whatever na samahan nila or maging kaibigan ka nila. Pero kahit na daan-daan ang nagiging kaibigan natin eh humahanap pa din tayo ng isang tao na siyang magiging bestfriend mo, kasi there’s a difference between bestfriend and a friend. lalo na sa panahon ngayon na talamak ang tukso eh hindi pwedeng basta basta ka na lang pipili or hahanap ng magiging bestfriend mo. Ano nga ba dapat ang taglay ng isang mabuting kaibigan o maging sa bestfriend? dapat ba mayaman siya? sikat? gwapo? maganda? crush ng bayan? mr/ms popular? may mga tao na bumabase sa pisikal na aspeto ng isang tao. gusto niya gwapo, maganda, mayaman, sikat. pero minsan eh nababalewala lang siya dahil natatabunan siya ng kumbaga eh “kauri” ng bff or friend nya. syempre ayon nga sa cliche ng kasabihan: “friends of the same feathers flocks together” eh pano na lang kung hindi ka sosyal db? eh di OP ka, and your so out of the group sistah! Kung sa isang relationship ay kailangan ng trust, syempre sa friendship eh kailangan din yan samahan mo pa ng “Honesty” bakit may honesty pa? kasi ang isang tunay na kaibigan ay makakaya niyang sabihin sa kaibigan nya ang totoo masaktan man ang kaibigan nya, ika nga “don’t comfort me with your lies, comfort me with the truth” kung halimbawa she/he asks you kung maayos na ba ang pananamit nya or whatever questions she/he will ask you say the truth. kasi mas masasaktan lang siya kapag sa ibang tao pa niya nalaman yun diba? Tsaka ang isang tunay na kaibigan eh makakaya niyang ipakita ang kakapalan ng mukha niya sa harap mo kesa sa isang plastik na kaibigan na nasa loob pala ang kulo. Isa sa pinakadapat na Tandaan malalaman mo kung tunay mo siyang kaibigan sa oras na ikaw ay may problema o pinagdadaanan may concern siya sayo at handa ka niyang damayan.

Holding on is being brave, but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

Here are ten signs it’s time to let go.

 

After breaking up with someone you loved, even if you were the one who decided to end it and don’t feel rejected, you still feel a sense of loss, and you ache for the love you were getting that’s now gone.

You can never succeed to make everyone happy. Appreciate yourself. Know your self-worth and values. Know that it’s important to love yourself before you can love others. It’s not about doing what people want you to do.